You're completely useless in the revolution.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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