It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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