thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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