yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
