Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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