Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
