Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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