Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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