You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You need Xanax blowdarts
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
