I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
