are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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