can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
