Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
