Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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