Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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