ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
