I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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