I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
