hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
