8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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