Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Randomize
