Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You're a waste of cheezeits
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize