when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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