I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
