Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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