He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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