Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
