Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Randomize