She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
