This is not my ceiling
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
