you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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