But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it hurts more in the daytime
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
