I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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