We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
