I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
