He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
