you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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