I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
