Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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