Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
