They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
