WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
