I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My vagina is very pro this idea
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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