hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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