I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
from now on my penis is your penis
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
