i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
