do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
