Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
