we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
