i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
