This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
