I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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