u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
