Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
