I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize