Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
ttyl tear gas
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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