We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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