yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
