I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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