I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
